What is the reason for an older man

As I sat in the pastor’s office with my friend… “Why older men?” The pastor’s question surprised us, and for a moment, we looked at each other, unsure how to answer. Eventually, we concluded that older men tend to be more caring and possibly less weighed down by the pressures that younger men experience. However, as I thought about our response, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was a superficial explanation. In reality, the reasons young women choose to be with older men are complicated and diverse.

In many regions of Africa, for example, poverty can lead families to marry their daughters off to wealthier, older men, hoping for a better future. I recalled my childhood in Nigeria, where the traditions of my Muslim neighbors dictated that a baby girl’s future husband would come with gifts, a practice that seems both outdated and disturbing in today’s society. People often assume that young girls marry older men mainly for financial stability or social status. While it’s true that many do, I think the reasons are much more complex. Some young women feel societal pressure to marry, fearing they may never meet “Mr. Right.” Others might follow the examples set by those around them, thinking that marrying an older man is simply the way things are done. Still, I can’t help but question the wisdom of such decisions. How can a man who is decades older than a girl genuinely respect her as an equal partner? It’s a concerning thought, especially when I think of stories like that of Regina Daniels, a young actress married to an older man. Despite the glamour and luxury she seems to enjoy, she recently expressed her feelings of lack of freedom in her marriage and experiences of abuse. I’ve witnessed older men treating young women as if they are mere possessions, their youth taken advantage of under the pretense of love. The notion that an older man deserves happiness at the cost of a young woman’s joy.. What about the emotional impact? What about the psychological effects of marrying someone who could be your grandfather?

As I reflect on these matters, I sense a pressing need. Young women should rethink their decisions. While marrying an older man might seem attractive, the truth can be much more complex than it looks. We need to support relationships founded on mutual respect and equality, instead of those that continue cycles of control and dependency. Enough is enough. It’s time to reshape our understanding of love and partnership. I pray for every young woman in an abusive relationship, especially with older men, that you find freedom. Marriage is a wonderful thing. I hope this generation and those to follow will choose their partners wisely. Don’t marry for convenience. Marry for love and peace of mind. Everyone has the right to marry whomever they choose, but let's refrain from normalizing certain behaviors in our society. Shalom Photo credits to Regina Daniels's Instagram account.

Pastor E.A. Adeboye at Heasley Manor

The visit of Pastor E.A. Adeboye, the respected leader of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, was special. It was not just a visit; it was a reunion of friends, a celebration of faith, and the beauty of godliness. Evangelist, singer, writer Jacquelyn Heasley, a woman of great spirit and creativity, had known Pastor Adeboye for more than thirty-six years.

Their friendship grew through shared missions and many travels around the world, bonded by their strong commitment to spreading faith and hope. Jacquelyn dedicated her life to missionary work, often working alongside Pastor Adeboye, creating a partnership that went beyond simple acquaintance. The suite in the manor, carefully designed and built for the pastor and his wife during past visits, symbolized their deep friendship.

When the Adeboye family arrived, Jacquelyn felt immense joy and humility. She welcomed them with open arms, her smile shining with warmth and love. Her husband, Sam Heasley, stood proudly beside her, greeting their close family and friends who came to celebrate this important occasion. The atmosphere buzzed with laughter, heartfelt talks, and the delightful smell of a heavenly feast prepared with love. A long table was filled with a variety of delicious dishes, from exquisite delicacies to rich desserts, all made to honor their esteemed guest. Jacquelyn gave Pastor E.A. Adeboye a canvas art of her very first Split-Second Sermons that was inspired by his words he spoke to her in 1989.

As the brief afternoon visit came to a close, Jacquelyn gathered everyone for a group photo, capturing the spirit of the day—a moment frozen in time, filled with love, laughter, and unity. The smiles on their faces showed the joy of friendship and the blessings of shared faith. As the evening ended, the guests left with grateful hearts, taking with them the warmth of Heasley Manor and the treasured memories of a heavenly feast. The manor, a little paradise, had once again served its purpose as a haven. I was privileged some years ago to be a guest in Heasley Manor and enjoy the presence of God and tranquility there.

Oh what a wonderful day!

A New Era of Peace

War should belong to the past. We now live in a modern era filled with civilization and rapid progress. Instead of engaging in war, we should focus on new innovations and research that will improve the world. A Call for a War-Free World Once again, we have seen the terrible consequences of war as the conflict in Israel and Gaza ended painfully. Lives were lost, and families were separated. War brings nothing but destruction. The scripture encourages us to pursue peace with everyone and to love one another. Let us enjoy the world as our paradise, for as it is in heaven, so it should be on earth. I am relieved that the war in Israel has concluded. The Gaza conflict has deeply impacted many lives, and now it is finished. I pray for peace in Israel and the safety of Palestine and others. All the world needs is peace. As I thought about the aftermath of the conflict, I wondered if a war-free world is possible. Can humanity live together without the threat of war hanging over future generations? Can love and compassion overcome hatred and violence? These thoughts lingered in my heart and in the minds of those of us who long for a better world. It is possible to have a world free of war for the next 50 years. I reflected on how everyone shows love to a newborn. No one dislikes a baby. Yet, as that baby grows, the world can become harsh and unforgiving. Where does this hatred originate? Where has peace disappeared? We must rediscover the strength of love and empathy. The journey towards a war-free world starts with each person, each family, and each community. Families form the foundation of society. We must begin at home, teaching our children to be kind and to love one another. No one is superior to another. We are all equal in the eyes of our creator. Let's strive to be better individuals, leaving behind a legacy of love and kindness for future generations. Let's unite in the quest for a world without war. May love be the guiding force that directs us toward a future founded on compassion and understanding. Remember that in tough times, love and empathy can overcome hatred and division. This is a call to create a world where love and peace are paramount - a world where the purity of a newborn can be safeguarded for generations to come.

Is Marriage for All: Who Will Marry You

My suggestion is to honor and respect your husband as both your partner and your leader. When difficulties arise, refrain from seeking help from friends; keep your issues private within your home. Otedola advised his daughter to show respect and support for her husband, saying, "You must yield to the desires and whims of your husband; he is your boss, okay?" He emphasized, "There’s no more 'daddy'; don’t call me" he added.

Before you tie the knot, ensure that you are prepared mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. A thriving marriage flourishes when both partners are stable together. It's essential that you are in agreement. Avoid marrying for superficial reasons, out of fleeting emotions, for material gain, or due to societal expectations. If you choose to marry, do it for your own sake and because marriage is a noble commitment, as the Bible highlights, and it is a rare institution. Temi Otedola's wedding reportedly cost over 14 million dollars, as per various online sources. It's a well-known fact that weddings of billionaires, regardless of how private they may be, are rarely inexpensive. Many of us often question why wealthy individuals tend to marry within their social circles, don't we? The affluent often choose partners from their own circles for a variety of reasons. Nevertheless, marriage encompasses numerous aspects, ranging from biblical foundations to traditions and cultural practices.

According to the book of Emphasis, wives are encouraged to submit to their husbands, while husbands should avoid provoking their wives (Emphasis 5:22-24). "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. No pastor, therapist, or relationship coach can mend a broken relationship that is rooted in physical abuse, infidelity, or disrespect. You might be surprised to learn that some pastors, to whom you confide your relationship issues, are dealing with their own unresolved problems at home. There was a bishop who struggled with his wife for many years because she often reminded him that without her income, they would have no food in their home. Yet, she seems to forget how her husband was once a blessing to her mother and their entire family. Some pastors even go so far as to share their marital issues with church members. To the married couples reading this, please protect your marriage by keeping your family problems private. If you need assistance for your mental health, seek out a professional relationship therapist who can guide you, but remember that the keys to a successful marriage lie within you. If a billionaire like Mr. Femi Otedola can offer such advice to his daughter on her wedding day, I believe it is worth emulating, as there should be no third party in marriage. Resolve your misunderstandings with each other. To all those facing challenges in their marriage, I pray that God brings healing and restoration to your home and shows mercy to your family. May God bless you. Image credit: Temi Otedola's Instagram

What "Do Not Send Me Back To Nigeria“

Recently, I watched an interview with one of Nigeria's wealthiest men who stated, "I will not stop working hard until there are no more poor people in Africa." I believe the journalist should have inquired about his plans to eliminate poverty in Africa. Currently, there are no skills available to address poverty in Nigeria. Is the billionaire working to feed the poor in Africa? Certainly not, as no one can eradicate poverty simply by giving money to the poor. Instead, effective measures for poverty reduction must be implemented, including good governance, infrastructure development, technology advancement, quality education, agricultural development, and job creation for everyone. Ending poverty in Africa requires collective action from world leaders. If no action is taken, it could take Africa another 2000 years to fully develop. The Western world is crucial in helping African countries achieve this goal, as corruption in some nations hinders their leaders from making meaningful reforms and improvements. The current administration under President Bola Amed Tinubu is making efforts with their Renew Hope Policy, but they need to reach those who genuinely need assistance. I've seen some initiatives under the Renew Hope Policy aimed at women, but what about our elderly citizens who have retired and have little to live on? Recently, a retired police officer expressed his distress over receiving only 1.7 million naira after 35 years of service. I hope people will receive monthly pensions rather than just a one-time payment. Additionally, there should be renewed hope for sick and disabled individuals in Nigeria. It frustrates me when I see celebrities or Nollywood actors posting pictures of their ill colleagues on social media asking for help. They could assist their colleagues in private without sharing their images and medical conditions. What happened to privacy laws? There should also be renewed hope for mothers, I am talking about new mothers who have just given birth and do not get any maternity support. There should be renewed hope for those who are less fortunate. Certainly, Nigeria has a very large population, and it will require everyone to support each other in the country. I believe our leaders are aware of all the issues mentioned above. The EU is sending back many Nigerian refugees because they think there are no valid reasons for them to leave their country. However, the high levels of poverty and unemployment in Nigeria will drive anyone to seek better opportunities elsewhere. Right now, due to the inflation rate, thousands of people are struggling to survive. Nigeria needs international help now more than ever! Peace to the world #endpovertynow #helpafrica #helpnigeria

One Day Millionaire

Becoming a millionaire - Yesterday, an elderly man from Nigeria called me. During our conversation, I mentioned the giveaway I’m hosting on my blog. To my surprise, he told me he has never had one million naira in his life and that his wish is to hold one million naira in cash. I responded, saying, 'Oh sir, that’s a good desire; you just want to be a millionaire.' He agreed, and we ended our call. I started reflecting on our discussion and realized I should have asked him what he planned to do with the one million naira. He also pointed out that one million naira isn’t much in Nigeria today. I have friends who asked me for ten million naira when I first arrived in Europe, even though I didn’t have a single cent in my account. One of them owns a shop in Abuja where she claims to sell gold. She seems to have more money than I do, but the common belief in Africa is that anyone who has traveled abroad is wealthier, leading them to seek financial help from those abroad. The irony is that many Africans living in Europe are just as poor as those back home if they don’t work hard. The jobs available to Africans in Europe are often ones that many in Africa wouldn’t consider doing, even if they are in dire poverty. My dear brother Ademola taught me about the principles of giving, saying, 'Don’t wait until you’re a millionaire to start giving; give in your small ways.' He then asked if I understood why he said that, and I replied no. He explained that if you wait until you’re a millionaire to give, you might never give at all. It’s important to give from what you have. Now, after many years, I realize that giving is a grace because it takes grace to share with others when you have little. Don't hold any resentment towards those who don't give you money, as it's not a wrongdoing even if they have the means. I recall a boss of mine in Nigeria, the son of a former governor of Lagos state. His family is wealthy, with properties in Ikoyi, Lekki, and even abroad. He would often invite me for dinner, and afterward, he would give me money for my taxi ride from Lagos Island to the mainland. One evening, I was invited for dinner again, but I arrived very late due to the heavy traffic in Lagos. When I got there, my boss, Mr. O, was waiting outside their gate, about to get into his car. He approached me and said, "You are truly a Queen." He noted the time of my arrival and mentioned that they had already finished dinner and he was heading to the casino. He opened his briefcase to show me it was filled with dollars, explaining that he planned to use all that money to gamble that night. I told him I wanted to head home, and he gave me my taxi fare. I didn't feel upset that he didn't share any of the dollars with me; I understood he had his own plans for his money. Just being able to dine with the wealthy was an honor and a privilege. The last time I was with them, I enjoyed the finest red wine and delicious egusi soup with pounded yam. It truly takes grace to give. Everyone should strive to earn their own money.

There Shall Be No Poor: for a Better Society

End Poverty- I never truly hated poverty until recently. Years ago, as a teenager, I went to a church crusade organized by the Redeemed Christian Church of God, led by Evangelist J.T., who was a regional pastor at that time. While he preached, he stated, "I can give you 1500 reasons why poverty will lead you to hell." My young mind didn’t fully grasp it then, but his message stuck with me. Later, during college, one of our lecturers entered the classroom and said, "If you don’t have money and you don’t know God, who are you?" I reflected on his words and realized that knowing God is essential, but having money is also crucial in life. Many people in underdeveloped countries like Africa suffer from poverty because they view money as a luxury or a matter of luck. Some even think that money can lead them to hell, choosing to stay poor instead. I heard about a place in the world where the locals are not allowed to become wealthy; they must remain in poverty. The Bible refers to money as a necessity, stating, "Money answers all things." In my view and experience, poverty is like a disease that needs to be tackled and eliminated. While the poor will always be among us, poverty can be linked to various other factors. As the wealthy dine with golden spoons, the poor struggle to survive. Some can afford to eat whatever they want, while others are limited to what they can find. For instance, how does a family with no income manage to survive? This is the reality for many people in Nigeria, who lack means and receive no government assistance. Some even blame their creators for their poverty. Everyone comes into this world with nothing and will leave the same way. If those in power choose to address poverty, they can, and if we as individuals decide to fight against poverty, we can too. Provide food instead of weapons Someone once mentioned that I should refrain from giving money to individuals in Africa. He went on to say that the wealthy remain rich because they do not share their money. Similarly, it has been said that wealthy Africans are not assisting their own people. I question whether they realize that even the richest person in Africa is still considered poor compared to the wealthiest individuals in the Western world. Those who claim that Africa does not require assistance should reconsider their viewpoint. Africa needs support in numerous areas. I recently read a book by Femi Otedola, where he recounted how his late father was given counterfeit aspirin to control his high blood pressure. This same issue persists in Nigeria today, where people are succumbing to their illnesses due to fake medications. They are dying from poor food, contaminated water, and a low quality of life. Instead of European leaders providing aid to these self-serving leaders, they should invest directly in the impoverished individuals they aim to assist.